Did you ever notice, that looking at the people around us, and comparing ourselves to what they say, what they are doing, what they have just bought, or how far ahead they are, can eat away at us if we let it!! The habit of looking at things external to ourselves and comparing ourselves to those things can leave us feeling drained and demotivated.
We can end up putting a lot of “should’s” on ourselves as a result. We can end up thinking – I should be where they are, I should have what they have or I should be as outgoing as they are. When really, it’s much more important to take your eyes off others and bring yourself into focus. Instead of focusing on the “don’t have’s” focus on your “do have’s”. Conserve the time and energy you put into observing and pondering external factors, and hold onto the time and energy and save it for you.
What if next time you recognise yourself focusing on the people around you, you begin to ask yourself the questions that matter most to you? Forget about what everyone else is or isn’t doing and bring yourself into focus. Take a moment and consider any one of the following questions to support yourself and your life journey…
Ask yourself, what are you feeling right now? Ask yourself the question – where are you at right now? What feels good for you just now? What are you happy about at the moment? Also, is there anything that could be better or different for you right now? Then look at what you could potentially do to support yourself with this awareness.
Ask yourself, what do you need right now? Is there anything you need? Do you need time to rest and recharge? Do you need to meet up with friends? Do you have a hobby you would like to get back into? Pause and consider what would be helpful for you. If you find yourself talking yourself out of doing something that would be good for you, stop for a moment and remind yourself that you can’t do everything you need to do if you are running on empty. Think about doing those things that fill you up, give you a break and allow you to unwind. Then bring those things more regularly into your weekly routine.
Ask yourself what are you doing well right now? When we are rushing through our routines of daily life, it is easy to forget about giving ourselves the acknowledgements we need and deserve. Take a moment and give yourself permission to fully acknowledge what you have achieved so far, and the effort you put in every day to doing your job and living your life. You are fully permitted to value yourself daily and cheer yourself on.
Then comes the next question – in a self-supporting and understanding way, ask yourself what aspects of yourself or your life would you like to improve or address? Make sure to assess and measure whatever you choose to focus on based on your own frame of reference; on what is most important and feels most applicable and appropriate for you. Remember, this exercise is about connecting to your own internal frame of reference and not about keeping up with the Jones’ or those external influences we might measure ourselves against.
What are your “Life Why’s”? Take some time to consider why you do what you do. What is it that motivates you to get up every day and do what you currently do? What are the things that matter most to you, and how do you tend to these aspects of your life on a regular basis?
Maybe consider where you are right now in regard to your “Why”. Would you like to change your “why”? Does your “why” still fit for you and where you are in your life right now?
Sometimes we need to re-evaluate our “why” and consider if it needs to shift and change. Because as we shift, change and evolve as human beings we can start to see things differently and what is most important for us can begin to shift and change. So, reflect on this for yourself, what used to be most important for you in the past, is that still important for you now? Or as you have become older, and gained more experience, would you say your life experiences have shifted your perspective and your “why” in any way?
So, these are just some of the self-exploratory questions you could take some time to ask yourself. What if, going forward, when you notice yourself focusing on external stuff, you took a breath and paused, and rather than direct your focus to external aspects of the world around you, you took a moment to bring the focus to yourself, and where you are currently, what you need and what you want to create for yourself in your life.
It’s important to remember that it all starts with you. If you have a wish for things to be different in any way, think about what you have direct control over to initiate that change, spend time to get to know yourself more deeply, support yourself, love yourself and embrace all the potential you have within you.
If you feel it, believe it and nurture it from within, then anything is possible for you. Get grounded in truly giving yourself the full attention and focus you deserve. You have full control over how much time you can give yourself. Start now, choose one of these suggested questions and dive deep into what it is to be you.
If you are thinking, “I am not sure even where to start”, we can offer you advice and support with that. If you feel it would help to have a conversation about your next steps – email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org and I would be delighted to arrange a time to talk. Or why not listen to the “YourIntuitiveLifeCoach” podcast.