Self-Acceptance and Leaning Into Your Personal Growth

Today I'm going to talk about self-acceptance, kindness and compassion and how these three states together can really improve our levels of wellbeing and help us to lean into who we are as individuals as well as experience personal growth more easily.

Strong Self-Acceptance builds Wellbeing

Self-acceptance is one of our key wellbeing markers and the more we're able to lean into and proactively be present with accepting ourselves, the better the impact on our states of wellbeing. Once your foundational level of wellbeing starts to improve, everything else starts to fall more into place and feel more authentically suited for who you are as a person. So, once you start to actively support yourself and accept who you are, the clearer things become which in turn enables you to make more self-supporting and self-affirming decisions and choices for yourself.  

Accepting all Aspects of Yourself Unconditionally

Self-acceptance is about learning to accept who you are, flaws and all.  We're all human beings and every single one of us has our own flaws. I think the key thing to accept is that we're all works in progress. We're all growing and expanding as we go on this journey of life. And we do that through our lived experiences. The experiences we have daily. So, if you can hold that idea for yourself and be more accepting and supportive of yourself in that process things will start to feel a little bit more fluid and easy for you. Learn to let go of the high expectations you may have of yourself, and criticisms you may have of yourself and instead simply be open and curious about your daily experience and what they teach you. Remind yourself every day that you are a work in progress, and that none of us are the finished article. Remind yourself that you are learning as you are going.

Accepting You Are a Work In Progress

Start to recognise and accept that you are working on yourself as you go. Accept and understand those aspects of yourself that need growth, addressing or exploring. Be willing to step in and explore what is going on for you.  Resist getting defensive or reacting. Instead, it’s having that willingness to look at yourself, accept who you are in the present and then be curious about what might you like to improve about yourself going forward. It's not about beating yourself up, it's about being curious and open to considering where's your growth here, and what could you work on to become the best version of yourself.

With Acceptance comes opportunities for Personal Growth

When you're able to accept yourself for who you are and be curious about aspects of yourself that need addressing or stretching and growing, it gives you the capacity to lean into those aspects of yourself more easily. If we are judging ourselves, we can find it harder to look at and consider what we need to address or work on.  

So, on a daily basis can you be mindful and present about how accepting of yourself you are? Check-in with the conversations you have with yourself. Ask yourself the following questions “Am I judging myself” or “Do I beat myself up about things I've done or haven't done right” or “Do I constantly think I should have done better”? Those “need to”, “should haves,” and “could have” phrases and the language you use can give you a good insight into how accepting of yourself you are. Think how you can let go of that constant measuring, need to, should have thinking, and instead replace those with curiosity questions like “What did I learn from that experience”, “What went well” and “What could I do differently next time”.  So take a moment and consider how you would like to rephrase that internal dialogue you give yourself.

Self-Kindness and Self-Compassion are Key

Offering yourself regular self-kindness and self-compassion is key. Learning to let go of nagging negative thinking is a crucial part of this. Think about how you can begin to rephrase the conversation you have with yourself. Pause and take a rest, take a breath, and think about how you can rephrase the way you talk to yourself. Ask yourself how you can be more self-supporting, and how you can offer yourself some kindness and understanding.

Start to navigate your nagging thinking by first catching yourself when you notice that negative inner chatter starts. Take a step back and pause, then slowly ask yourself a more self-supporting question such as “What did I feel I did well in that experience?” or What did I learn from that experience? Be curious rather than critical. Accept what’s happened, consider what you have taken from the experience and offer yourself compassion and acknowledgement in that process.

Empowering Language and Affirming Mantras

By allowing yourself to be more present with how you talk to yourself, you can begin to filter out the negative chatter and work to replace it with more curious thoughts and questions. I also suggest giving yourself a positive mantra to repeat to yourself often. This will help your brain to start to process and filter your thoughts in a more self-supporting and self-understanding way. So it’s important to actively affirm yourself on a daily basis. Maybe you could use an empowering mantra along the lines of:

“I accept myself for who I am today.

I accept that I have faults.

I accept that I'm a work in progress.

I am growing and learning as I go.

I am embracing this journey and what it offers me”.

Remember the more you allow yourself to step into that process of being willing to learn and grow and accept yourself for where you are right now the easier it is for you to lean into what you want to improve or develop for yourself. By allowing yourself to focus on where you currently are and your growth opportunities rather than judge your faults the freer you will feel to explore and expand daily.

Intentional and Proactive Self-Acceptance

The next step from this point is to consider how you can build a more proactive approach to accepting yourself daily. This is informed by being kind to yourself and having more compassion for yourself. Can you think about the language you use about yourself, consider the way you approach and navigate your day, and how often do you offer yourself compassion and understanding if you've had a difficult day? Or do you notice that you beat yourself up about things that have happened?

Instead, could you look at things from the perspective that everything is a learning process and allow yourself to look at the experiences from a more compassion-based perspective? Because with that kind of narrative and a more compassionate approach towards yourself everything starts to feel a little bit clearer and more open. It also enables you to look at the situation from a different perspective. Which then gives you information that maybe you wouldn't have been able to see if you were being critical and judgmental of your experiences. So, take note of the kindness and compassion you offer yourself, as you reflect on and think through your daily experiences. Begin to offer yourself that element of kindness and compassion, this is at the heart of how we engage more completely in accepting ourselves for who we are daily.  And this creates a strong personal foundation that supports limitless personal growth and expansion. Who wouldn’t love that?

Using journaling as a process to navigate your way to a better level of self-acceptance and wellbeing would be a positive step forward. If you would like to integrate the practice of journaling into your self-care or wellbeing process and would like a starting point for this why not explore my range of hard copy self-reflective wellbeing journals here? Or my printable e-journals here. And finally, if you have any questions about your wellbeing or how to build stronger levels of self-acceptance and wellbeing get in touch with me at ml@mldevitt.com, it would be great to hear from you.