Truly Embracing the Subtleties of Self-Acceptance

Through my own personal growth and while supporting my therapy and life coaching clients, I have become deeply aware of the concept and practice of self-acceptance. I have also become aware of the impact the level of our self-acceptance has on our journeys to being in a better place mentally, emotionally, and physically.

The quality and depth of our own degree of self-acceptance permeates into nearly everything we do. It is a low gentle whisper that plays in the background of our daily lives. We can be almost unaware of the impact it has on us. As it is subtle and exists low to the ground in our awareness. And yet with my own self-reflective practice, and through exploring the concept of self-acceptance with my clients, what I have come to understand is that the more proactively we are willing to engage in reflecting inwards and exploring more closely how fully we are able to accept ourselves, then the better and more freely we are able to grow and expand personally and professionally.

I was first introduced to the concept of self-acceptance while going through my therapy training. It was when I was doing my theory and practice on Carl Roger’s “Person-centred Therapy (PCT) Model”, that the concept of unconditional self-acceptance struck me. In particular, it was the following quote:

 "THE CURIOUS PARADOX IS THAT WHEN I ACCEPT MYSELF

JUST AS I AM, THEN I CHANGE."

Carl Rogers

It was then that I began to understand that self-acceptance is not just about giving the concept superficial lip service, but more importantly it was about making it part of us, part of our thinking, embedded in the actions we take on behalf of ourselves every day. I began to understand the significance of accepting that we are flawed and willingly being ok with that. Because an important part of our life journey is to learn how to accept ourselves fully and unapologetically flaws and all. And how that acceptance helps us to find a deeper inner peace with that. Then and only then can we go about choosing what aspects of ourselves we would like to improve and nurture and so then stretch and grow into the best version of ourselves.

So, at the heart of how this has real significance and can facilitate real change is actively embracing full and total self-acceptance. We need to stop working to change aspects of ourselves that we are coming at from a self-critical perspective. The energy of that engagement when seeking change and personal growth needs to be grounded in acceptance and support, rather than self-criticism and pressure. The outcome of that process will be two different things depending on the perspective you choose. When you engage in that endeavour of personal change and growth there needs to be an element of fluidity and freedom to it. A self-critical and self-pressured perspective creates walls and prisons, whereas self-acceptance and self-compassion nurture open fields and vast expanses to explore. Which would you prefer?

So here are a few good starting points to help you dig deeper into assessing and taking ownership of your own levels of “self-acceptance”.

Firstly, take a breath.

Take a step back from your day, take a step back for your to-do list, let go of any negative inner critical thoughts that might be swimming around in your head. Pause and reflect on what your current inner self-talk is? Now take a few slow deep breaths, allow yourself to breathe out that old inner self-talk (if it's not self-supporting) and try using the below mantra to start that process of embodying “full and unconditional acceptance of yourself.”

I fully and unconditionally accept all aspects of myself and who I am right now.

I acknowledge and accept my strengths and weaknesses.

I accept that I am a work in progress.

I am ready, open and willing to learn and grow.

Secondly, Journal your process.

Take even 5-10 minutes daily to journal your thoughts around how you are being actively present in your own self-acceptance process. Use some of the following journaling prompts to support your process.

-          I am choosing to accept myself fully and unconditionally because...

-          Aspects of myself I would like to improve are…

-          Aspects of fully and unconditionally accepting myself I find hard include…

-          When I give myself full and unconditional self-acceptance, I feel...

-          What daily actions will I take to embody and embrace full acceptance of myself?

So, what I have experienced and grown to understand is that this active process of self-acceptance is one of the bedrocks of our personal foundations that will enable us to stretch and grow more easily into the person we are meant to be.

If you are interested in journaling, I have a range of journals and e-journals that you can explore. Including “Your Daily Self-Love Journal. If you are interested in being part of a community that helps nurture stronger personal foundations, and helps you get out of overwhelm and build resilience, why not join my email list here and get regular updates, blog posts, podcast episodes and tips and techniques that will support you in this process? Or if you would like a one-to-one conversation about how to nurture your own personal growth journey you can email me at ml@mldevitt.com.